Chronicling ‘the continual feast’: 2013 readerboard year

SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST, on Oak Street, added a sign board in September.

Photo by Kirby Neumann-Rea.
SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST, on Oak Street, added a sign board in September.

Our annual celebration of roadside spiritual (and other) messages this year adds a new contributor: Hood River Seventh-Day Adventist Church installed a signboard in September.

This is the 12th annual “Readerboard Year” list (in keeping with 12 Days of Christmas) making it a good time to recap the source material.

The Adventists’ sign brings to 12 the number of local (Hood River County and White Salmon) churches with signs that allow changeable messages. Eleven are of the classic metal-letter static variety, with letter sizes varying from 3 to 12 inches. These require a person to physically go outside once a week or so, open up a Plexiglas door, and change the letters.

Special note:

A reader showed us a clipping in his wallet that reads: “Churches are hospitals for sinners, not museums for saints.”

Some churches, including River of Life, rarely change the sign, using the sign to post worship, music and Bible study times.

Immanuel Lutheran employs a wide variety of vinyl banners, notably the one in December reading “Give Presence.”

(This is a good moment to mention the bear sculpture, with its changing messages, across Ninth from the Lutheran church, at the home of Pastor Jeff Mueller. While not precisely a church message “bearer,” the now-famous bruin frequently has a spiritual side. Look for more on Jeff and the bear in early 2014.)

Truth Tabernacle on Tucker Road owns a large electronic sign, but while its messages are variable the church rarely makes changes to the messages of English and Servicio Espanol worship times.

Hood River Valley Christian Church has no changeable sign, but for years it has kept a sign in the foyer — over the exit — reading “Servants’ Entrance.”

Seventh-Day Adventist Church

God so loved the world that he did not send a committee

God plus one is always a majority

Adventures begin when we dare to do the impossible with God

There is no right way to do the wrong thing

God expects spiritual fruit, not religious nuts

Never give the devil a ride, he always wants to drive

Don’t try to grow an oak in a flower pot

A mighty oak was once a little nut who stood his ground

Life is more fun if you don’t keep score

A good conscience is a continual feast

If you think you are perfect, try walking on water

Be thankful for …

There are some questions that can’t be answered by Google

God gave us the gift of 84,400 seconds. Have you used one to thank him?

Tucker Road Baptist

Jesus is the eternal light

We’re solar powered by the Son

Celebrate the resurrection

Don’t change God’s word; let God’s word change you

Many books can inform you but only the Bible can transform you

Autumn Leaves, Jesus Doesn’t

God gets the stains out that others leave behind

The best Thanksgiving is Thanksliving

Church of Christ

Our strength lies in our dependence upon God

You can’t walk with God and run with the devil

Salvation found nowhere except God

Whoever serves me must follow me (John 12:26)

Commit yourself to the Lord. Let him deliver ...

Return Unto Me For I have Redeemed Thee

Never Lego of God (VBS)

He is my refuge my fortress, my God in whom I trust

Unto us a savior is born

Belmont Drive Missionary Baptist Church

A Godly Father’s Life Is His Child’s Copybook

Have You Hugged Your Dad Today?

No man is so free as he who is bound to Christ

Blessed is the Nation whose God is the Lord

God’s love still stands when all else has fallen

God tries our faith so we may try his faithfulness

The joy of living comes from a heart of Thanksgiving

Let us ever remember our veterans and those in the military, God bless them

Odell United Methodist Church

Have a Blessed 2013

For every storm there is a rainbow

Walmart is not the only saving place

Eternal life insurance, free Sunday morning. Are you in good hands?

Remember! The Reason for the Season!

Parkdale Church of the Nazarene

Want exercise? Walk with Jesus

An idol is anything that takes God’s rightful place

Come in today and pray

Beat the Christmas Rush

Cascade Locks Community Church

The star of Bethlehem will never set

Wise men still seek him

Beat the Easter rush, come to church this Sunday

Don’t worry about tomorrow: God is there

Count your blessings

In Thanksgiving let us praise him

Cascade Locks Bible Fellowship

Happy New Year: What if it’s your last?

Forgiveness and redemption? The offer expires when you do

Want to be courageous? Honor begins at home

The Place of God Bringing Hope to Cascade Locks

Can an offense blind you to the spirit? Take Jesus to heart

Give Thanks to the Lord

Maker of Heaven and Earth

Riverside Community Church

God calls the unqualified and qualifies the called

Leave us not in temptation

Holy Hearing Aid

Holey information … Wholly … Holy Wisdom


What’s missing in ch ch? (UR)

New Beginnings Church, White Salmon

You can’t grow strong without resistance.

Other reader boards

West Side Fire Department (Tucker Road)

“If you see an emergency vehicle with its lights on, please pull over.”

“We wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving”— Good News Gardening

Charburger, Hood River

“Juiciest burger for 24,191 miles”

“Pull over and try our pulled pork”

“Polar Exp” eats here

Mt. Hood Pullout

“What’s Going to Happen?”— January at soon-to-open eatery

Saw Tooth Roadhouse

“Happy Holidays/Season’s Greetings”

Best Western Columbia Gorge:

“Merry Christmas” (west side); “Happy New Year” (east side)

Latest stories

Latest video:

Parkdale third graders sing "12 Disaster Days of Christmas"

Welcome to your sing-able Christmas gift list. What follows is an emergency rendition of “12 Days of Christmas” – for outfitting your home or car in case of snow storm, earthquake, flood or other emergency. Read it as a simple list, or sing it to the tune of “12 Days” – you know, as in “ … and a partridge in a pear tree…” Not to make light of it, but the song is a familiar framework for a set of gift ideas that you could consider gathering together, even if the recipient already owns items such as a bunch of coats, tire chains and flashlights. Stores throughout the Gorge are stocked up on all these items. Buying all 12 days might be prohibitive, but here are three ideas for checking any of the dozen off your list (notations follow, 1-12.) The gift items needed to stay warm, dry and safe are also coded to suggest items in your abode (A) in your car (C) or both (B). 12 Gallons of Water (A) 11 Family meals (B) 10 Cans of propane (A) 9 Hygiene bags (B) 8 Packs of batteries (A) 7 Spare coats (B) 6 Bright red flares (C) 5 Cozy blankets (B) 4 Tire chains (C) 3 Flashlights (B) 2 cell phone chargers (B) 1 And a crush-proof first aid kit (B) Price ranges? Here’s a few quotes for days Three, Two, Four and Nine: n A family gift of flashlights (three will run $15-30, Hood River Supply, Tum-A-Lum) n Cell phone chargers (two will run $30-60) n Tire chains (basic set, $30, Les Schwab, returnable if unused for the winter) n Family meals ($100 or so should cover the basics for three or four reasonably well-fed days) n The home kit should be kept in a handy place near an exit, and remember that water needs to be replenished every few months. If you have a solid first aid kit already, switch out the gift idea with “and-a-sto-o-u-t- tub-for it-all …” Otherwise, it’s a case of assembling your home or car kits and making sure all members of the family know what the resources are and how to use them (ie flares and propane). Emergency situations are at worst life-threatening, at best deeply uncomfortable if you and your family are left without power for an extended period, or traveling and find yourself in a situation where you need to wait out a storm, lengthy traffic delay, or other crisis. Notes on the 12 gift ideas: 12 – Gallons of water: that’s one per person in a four-member family to last for three days, the recommended minimum to be prepared for utility outages. 11 – Easy-open packaged goods, energy bars, dried food and nuts are good things to include for nutrition. Think of what your family of four needs for three days to stay fortified and hydrated (see number 12). Can-opener also recommended 10 – If you have a propane camping stove, keep extra fuel handy. 9 – Hygiene bags: put packaged moistened towelettes, toilet paper, and plastic ties in large garbage bags (for personal sanitation) Resource list courtesy of Hood River County Emergency Management, Barbara Ayers, manager/ 541-386-1213. The county also reminds residents to Get a Kit, Make A Plan to connect your family if separated, and Stay Informed. See to opt-in for citizen alerts. Enlarge

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