A kegler’s Christmas hymn

It was the night of league, when all thru the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even the ubiquitous, Len Hickman

The standing sheets were hung under the lights

In hopes that our bowlers would soon make strikes

We were nestled all snug in the settees

With visions of turkeys dancing in our heads

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter

We sprang from the lanes to see what was the matter

When, what to our wondering eyes should appear

But an SUV, carrying eight of our top keglers

With a little spry driver, so lively and quick

We knew in a moment that it had to be Bill Hirata

He whistled and shouted and called them by name

Now Mason, now Bloom, now Miller and Sim

On, Spellman, on Halstead, on Asai and Brittle

To the lanes let’s go, let’s bowl and get some strikes

So to the house they went, with their fancy bags

And then, to our aghast, down to 1 and 2 went Nish

He was all dressed to the nines in his sponsor’s shirt and pants,

His clothes were sharp, looking just out of Saks

He encouraged us to fill frames with marks

A wink of his eye and a nod of his head

Soon gave us all courage, we had nothing to dread

He spoke not a word but went straight to work

He filled all the frames with strikes and spares

Not a split or missed spare anywhere

Three clean games, he arose with a smile,

Then he took that entourage back to the car

And we heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,

Great bowling everybody and Merry Christmas to all!

(With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

Team of the Week

Greg McDaniel (5), 728

Bryan Mason (9), 710

Pat Olson (7), 708

Jan Halstead (3), 673

Lynn Spellman (3), 665

League highlights

Monday night Industrial: Lynn Spellman, 655 series; Wally Jaksha, 246 game

Tuesday morning ladies Workshirkers: Nancy Asai, 212 game and 612 series

Tuesday Nite Mixed: Pat Olson, 634 series; Nancy Asai, 210 game and 614 series; Rick Nishimoto, 237 game

Wednesday afternoon Colts and Fillies: Gordon Sim, 256 game and 626 series; Nancy Sayler, 187 game and 460 series

Wednesday night Fraternal: Greg McDaniel, 288 game and 728 series; Bernie Keys, 202 game and 572 series

Thursday afternoon Lads and Lassies: Jim Block, 540 series; Kim McCartney, 180 game and 496 series; Clifford Beat, 225 game

Thursday County League: Rod Pratt, 213 game and 621 series; Joella Dethman, 478 series; Ellen Davis, 172 game

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Parkdale third graders sing "12 Disaster Days of Christmas"

Welcome to your sing-able Christmas gift list. What follows is an emergency rendition of “12 Days of Christmas” – for outfitting your home or car in case of snow storm, earthquake, flood or other emergency. Read it as a simple list, or sing it to the tune of “12 Days” – you know, as in “ … and a partridge in a pear tree…” Not to make light of it, but the song is a familiar framework for a set of gift ideas that you could consider gathering together, even if the recipient already owns items such as a bunch of coats, tire chains and flashlights. Stores throughout the Gorge are stocked up on all these items. Buying all 12 days might be prohibitive, but here are three ideas for checking any of the dozen off your list (notations follow, 1-12.) The gift items needed to stay warm, dry and safe are also coded to suggest items in your abode (A) in your car (C) or both (B). 12 Gallons of Water (A) 11 Family meals (B) 10 Cans of propane (A) 9 Hygiene bags (B) 8 Packs of batteries (A) 7 Spare coats (B) 6 Bright red flares (C) 5 Cozy blankets (B) 4 Tire chains (C) 3 Flashlights (B) 2 cell phone chargers (B) 1 And a crush-proof first aid kit (B) Price ranges? Here’s a few quotes for days Three, Two, Four and Nine: n A family gift of flashlights (three will run $15-30, Hood River Supply, Tum-A-Lum) n Cell phone chargers (two will run $30-60) n Tire chains (basic set, $30, Les Schwab, returnable if unused for the winter) n Family meals ($100 or so should cover the basics for three or four reasonably well-fed days) n The home kit should be kept in a handy place near an exit, and remember that water needs to be replenished every few months. If you have a solid first aid kit already, switch out the gift idea with “and-a-sto-o-u-t- tub-for it-all …” Otherwise, it’s a case of assembling your home or car kits and making sure all members of the family know what the resources are and how to use them (ie flares and propane). Emergency situations are at worst life-threatening, at best deeply uncomfortable if you and your family are left without power for an extended period, or traveling and find yourself in a situation where you need to wait out a storm, lengthy traffic delay, or other crisis. Notes on the 12 gift ideas: 12 – Gallons of water: that’s one per person in a four-member family to last for three days, the recommended minimum to be prepared for utility outages. 11 – Easy-open packaged goods, energy bars, dried food and nuts are good things to include for nutrition. Think of what your family of four needs for three days to stay fortified and hydrated (see number 12). Can-opener also recommended 10 – If you have a propane camping stove, keep extra fuel handy. 9 – Hygiene bags: put packaged moistened towelettes, toilet paper, and plastic ties in large garbage bags (for personal sanitation) Resource list courtesy of Hood River County Emergency Management, Barbara Ayers, manager/ 541-386-1213. The county also reminds residents to Get a Kit, Make A Plan to connect your family if separated, and Stay Informed. See www.co.hood-river.or.us to opt-in for citizen alerts. Enlarge

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